Moving reflection from a Cuban in the U.S.: "I cannot detach myself from the one who taught me to hold on to life."

"Rejecting a call won't prevent the pain or lessen the longing."


"It's so easy to say 'turn the page and look ahead,' but how do you let go when it's your mom, your dad, or your children who are left behind?" reflects Carelis Conde, a Cuban psychologist residing in the United States, in a video that resonates deeply with those who have emigrated, leaving their loved ones behind.

With her characteristic warm tone, Carelis shared her reflection on TikTok, where she explained the emotional conflict that many emigrants face. "It's not about forgetting your roots or clinging to them; it's about using them as motivation to give you the strength to endure the distance and the pain of the hugs you long for but can't have from those you left behind," she expressed.

She rejected the simplistic advice that urges some to "ignore the calls from Cuba" to avoid distractions or losing focus on their new life. "Rejecting a call won't make it hurt less or make me miss them any less. It's up to me to learn how to find comfort without breaking down," she said, emphasizing the importance of managing emotions while staying connected with loved ones.

Carelis's message resonated deeply with users, who flooded her video with reactions filled with emotion and gratitude. One user wrote, "My mother is the reason I wake up every day with more enthusiasm than ever." Another confided, "The day I forget my mother, I'd rather wake up dead."

Many shared their own experiences of struggle and sacrifice: "My daughters are in Cuba, my mom, my dad… how can I detach from them when I'm here for them?" commented one person. Another expressed: "I can’t eat knowing that they don’t have anything. I’d rather go without, but make sure they have what they need."

Others reflected on how difficult it is for some to understand that bond: "Family should never be abandoned. Those who forget their own will sooner or later pay the price for it," stated a user. "My children and my mother are my drive. For them, I will never detach myself from Cuba," added another.

Some users expressed their gratitude for Carelis's words, as she articulated what they feel but cannot express. "I admire each of your videos. You say the things I wish I could say, but I can't find the words," commented one person. Another reflected, "Helping my loved ones is my relief from the pain of missing them. That pain doesn’t go away; it only grows and grows."

Among the hundreds of reactions, the most common sentiment was the sacrifice for loved ones left behind. "I brought five relatives and now I'm struggling financially, but I have no regrets. I can't turn my back on my own," someone commented. Another expressed, "They are my reason for being. If they are well, I am too."

Carelis's message not only fosters empathy but also prompts reflection. Her video serves as a reminder that distance never extinguishes love or the sense of responsibility towards family. For those with a divided heart, these calls are not an obstacle, but a driving force that motivates them to move forward.

Frequently Asked Questions About the Emotional Impact of Emigration on Cubans

What is the main emotional challenge faced by Cubans who emigrate?

The most significant emotional challenge for Cubans who emigrate is the separation from their loved ones. The distance intensifies feelings of nostalgia, sadness, and anxiety, especially when leaving behind parents, children, and other close relatives. These emigrants must learn to manage their emotions while trying to maintain contact and support for their families in Cuba.

Why is the connection with family in Cuba so important for emigrants?

For Cuban emigrants, staying connected with family in Cuba is crucial as it represents an emotional bond and essential support. Despite the distance, keeping in touch with loved ones offers them comfort and motivation to move forward. Additionally, it is common for emigrants to send remittances to their families, reinforcing their emotional commitment and obligation toward them.

How does emigration affect the identity perception of Cubans?

Emigration can have a significant impact on the identity perception of Cubans, as they encounter a cultural shock and the necessity to adapt to new environments. While they seek to integrate into the host society, many maintain their cultural roots as a way to preserve their identity. This duality can create internal conflicts, but it also strengthens their sense of belonging to the Cuban community abroad.

What role do social media play in the lives of Cuban emigrants?

Social media is a crucial tool for Cuban emigrants, allowing them to stay connected with their families and communities back in Cuba. Additionally, it provides a platform to share experiences, reflections, and to find emotional support among fellow emigrants facing similar situations. These interactions help reduce feelings of isolation and strengthen the sense of community.

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