Gaby was only 16 years old when she arrived in the United States, facing a harsh reality. In a foreign country, her father abandoned her, giving her a month to leave his house without a car, money, or support. Despite having the means to help her, he chose not to. Now, as a mother, Gaby reflects on that experience and explains why she does not believe in making her daughters endure the same struggles she faced.
In a video posted on TikTok, Gaby, known as @mrs_wong1, shared: “I still don’t understand, and I think it’s something I will never understand, how there are parents who insist on making their children struggle simply because they had a difficult childhood and want their children to feel what they felt.”
With a firm stance, she added: "I know what it's like to struggle, I know what it means to start from scratch, and I would never want my daughters to go through that. From the very moment I arrived in this country at just 16 years old, I vowed that when I had daughters, they would have everything I never had in Cuba."
Gaby emphasized that her goal is not to raise girls who feel entitled to everything, but to support them while teaching the value of hard work. “That doesn’t mean […] that I’m going to be raising two girls who think they deserve everything. Here, you have to earn things. But why wouldn’t I give you Christmas gifts, or if I can give you a car, or set up a savings account for you when you decide to move out on your own, why wouldn’t I do it?”
The video sparked a wave of comments on TikTok, most of which supported her perspective. One user wrote, “Breaking the cycle, that's what they call it; I was lucky, but I think like you, it’s not about teaching them that everything comes easy, but rather about ensuring that your children's childhood is something they love to remember.” Another added, “Mothers are here forever, and as long as I live, my children won’t have to struggle.”
However, there were also differing opinions: “As a daughter who was given EVERYTHING, I now understand that it was a mistake. I would have liked my parents to teach me that not everything is so easy and that not everything is obtained just by asking dad and that's it.”
Gaby responded to some comments clearly, explaining her stance: “It’s about teaching the value of things and showing that not everything comes easily. But if I can help my daughters and give them what I didn't have, I won’t let them struggle.”
This reflection from a Cuban emigrant mother has sparked a deep debate about how to balance effort and support in child-rearing.
Frequently Asked Questions about Raising Children and Experiences of Cuban Immigrants in the United States
Why doesn’t Gaby, the Cuban mother in the U.S., want her daughters to go through the same difficulties she faced?
Gaby doesn't want her daughters to go through the same difficulties she faced during her challenging childhood. She believes she can provide them with a better life without them having to "start from scratch." Her goal is to support them and teach them the value of hard work while ensuring they have everything essential.
What is Gaby's stance on the balance between support and effort in parenting?
Gaby maintains that it is possible to teach the value of hard work while also providing support. She believes in giving her daughters the resources she didn't have, such as Christmas gifts or a car, while instilling in them the understanding that they must earn these things and recognize the effort required to achieve them.
What impact has Gaby's video on TikTok had on parenting in the community?
Gaby's video has sparked a significant debate about how to balance providing support with teaching the value of hard work. She has received numerous comments from people who share her perspective on breaking cycles of hardship, as well as criticism from those who believe that giving everything to children is not beneficial.
What is Gaby's view on the issue of deservingness among her daughters?
Gaby clarifies that, while she wants to give her daughters what she never had, she does not intend to raise them to feel entitled to everything without effort. She emphasizes that in her home, things must be earned, and her goal is to support her daughters while teaching them to value what they have.
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