A video by a Cuban psychologist about the so-called "role reversal" in island families ignited a massive debate on social media, with hundreds of comments split between those who argue that supporting parents is a moral duty and those who point out that this burden, imposed by a failing system, should not be romanticized.
The psychologist Gise Ponce, on her account @guapaspordentro_psicologia, posted this reel to discuss a phenomenon that, as she describes, frequently occurs in Cuba: children who, upon growing up, end up becoming the economic providers for their parents, especially after emigrating.
"Many children do not leave feeling completely free; rather, they emigrate with an entire family on their shoulders," the psychologist states in the video.
The author distinguishes between filial love and structural obligation: "In a just world, parents have the responsibility to somehow ensure their own old age. Children should not indefinitely sacrifice their own path or their own process to guarantee their parents' well-being."
It also points to a paradox that many recognize: "Sometimes the child who seems the most independent is actually the one carrying the heaviest burden."
The comments on the video reflect a deep emotional fracture. One follower described her situation starkly: "I'm all alone in this country, and on my shoulders, I carry six people. I've never had a vacation; I've been a citizen for years. What's left over is for medicine, food, the Cuba issue. And the worst part, may God forgive me, is that sometimes it feels overwhelming."
Others point out that the problem is not love, but the normalization of an injustice: "Helping out of love is one thing and is part of family solidarity; for that help to become the only guarantor of our parents' survival is something entirely different."
Some commentators point to a self-reinforcing pattern: "There is a very strong psychological factor instilled in us from a young age that makes you feel guilty for every enjoyment and every advancement." Others go further and describe cases where parents themselves stop pursuing professional development once they have children abroad: "It’s not necessary, I have a child overseas."
The phenomenon creates in Cuban emigrants a cycle of guilt, exhaustion, and satisfaction that many describe as inevitable but unsustainable in the long run.
Critical voices in the comments directly point to the regime as responsible: "The blame lies with a failed and unjust system like the Cuban one." Another summarized the aspiration of many: "Love is inherited; forced dependency should not be passed down from generation to generation."
Filed under: