The Cuban content creator @fanylachyysubanda published an emotional video on TikTok directed at all the migrant mothers who, in search of a better future, have been forced to leave their children behind.
“This video is for all the mothers who, in one way or another, have had to emigrate and leave their children behind,” she begins in the video shared on her profile. “I feel that many times those mothers who have had to leave their children behind, because they went out in search of a better life, or simply because they didn’t want to risk them on a journey... this doesn’t make you any less of a mother nor does it make the mother who comes with her children any more of a mother.”
The young woman explains that she herself emigrated "as a family," along with her husband and children, directly and not through a treacherous journey, but even so, they faced many difficulties: “We went through a lot, and we suffered those things because it's very hard when you start from scratch with children... you go hungry, your husband goes hungry, but when it’s with your children, it feels very different; it hurts a lot.”
Based on her experience, she called for empathy towards those who make the difficult decision to emigrate alone: “There are many women, not just Cubans but Mexicans and from any country... who look to the United States and do it alone, and then bring their children because they want to stabilize themselves here.”
"I want every mom going through this not to feel bad. We are all fighters, we are all warriors. Blessings," she concluded through tears.
The video generated an avalanche of comments from mothers who shared personal experiences marked by pain, separation, sacrifice, and hope. “Only I know what I am going through and what I am suffering,” “it comforts me that my daughter didn’t go through what I lived on my journey,” “I spent five years away from her, and it’s the only thing I regret in my entire life,” were some of the most prominent messages.
The words of @fanylachyysubanda resonate with other viral reflections like those of Cuban psychologist Carelis Conde, who shared on TikTok the pain of having to leave her child behind: “I am an immigrant mother, and the hardest decision I have made was to leave my child. And while I must admit that I don't care about what others say, every time I hear ‘but you left your child’ or ‘mothers should never leave their children behind,’ it feels like my conscience is punishing me. I don't sleep well; I try to focus on working to bring him with me, to ensure he lacks nothing in the meantime, but it hurts greatly.”
From her experience, she offered a sort of emotional guide to other women going through the same situation: “As mothers, we sometimes make decisions that come at a high cost, but we do it because we are also looking to the future... call your child, remind him every day how important he is to you, talk about his interests, listen to him, show him your efforts, and don’t hide the difficulties you are facing. Don’t make promises; let time adjust what you cannot control. Keep your mind focused, filter the comments, remember why you did this, why you are here, look at a photo of your child every day, and use it as the key that starts the car to keep moving forward until you achieve it.”
Also last November, @daynemartinez7 shared a viral video in which she expressed: “And who told you it was going to be easy? Emigrating is not for the faint-hearted... the mother who leaves her children behind does not abandon them.” She shared her experience of having been separated from her children for five years and called for a change in the narrative that judges migrant mothers.
The creator FanyLachy, who previously starred in another viral video last June with her partner denouncing mistreatment by relatives upon arriving in the U.S., has managed to open a new space for venting and solidarity on TikTok. Although she did emigrate with her children, her testimony reflects an increasingly common reality among Cuban migrant families: the emotional sacrifice of many mothers who, amidst guilt, love, and necessity, are trying to build a better future for their children.
Frequently Asked Questions about Cuban Migrant Mothers and Family Separation
Why do some Cuban mothers emigrate without their children?
Some Cuban mothers emigrate without their children in search of a better and more stable future for them. The decision to emigrate alone may be motivated by the desire to prevent the children from facing risks during the journey or by the need to achieve economic stability before bringing their children over. This sacrifice is made with the hope of providing them with better opportunities in the future.
Does being a migrant mother and leaving your children behind make you less of a mother?
Leaving children behind does not make you less of a mother. Many women who make this decision do so with the intention of protecting and ensuring a better future for their children. Motherhood is not defined by physical presence, but by the love and sacrifice one is willing to make for the well-being of their children.
What challenges do Cuban mothers face when emigrating alone?
Cuban mothers who emigrate alone face multiple challenges, such as the emotional separation from their children, adapting to a new culture, and the economic pressure to settle quickly. Additionally, they endure social judgment for their decision and the constant pain of not being physically present in their children's daily lives.
How can migrant mothers maintain their connection with their children from a distance?
migrant mothers can maintain a connection with their children through constant communication. It is important to call regularly, share daily experiences, listen to the children, and show them the effort being made for them. Although physical distance is a challenge, using technology can help maintain a strong emotional connection.
Filed under:
