A video shared on TikTok by the Cuban user @layami.87, who resides in the United States, has reignited the debate about the emotional and economic ties between emigrants and their families in Cuba. Without recounting a specific personal experience, the young woman reflects on a sentiment that many others have already expressed on social media: the feeling of constantly giving without receiving gratitude in return.
"The family in Cuba has become shameless and ungrateful. I don't want to generalize, but I know that many will identify with what I'm about to say," she warns at the beginning of her video. The recording is inspired by another viral content piece from the influencer Azúcar de Cuba, who showcased a grocery shopping trip totaling 120 dollars in Cuba. From there, the TikToker compares that image with her reality in the U.S., where she spent 150 dollars on essential products for just one week.
"You send 150 to your family and three days later they are telling you they have nothing to eat, that 150 isn't enough for anything," she says, visibly indignant. "The level of shamelessness has reached astronomical levels," she declares, stating that the first thing she felt upon watching the video of Azúcar was "anger and then disappointment."
Her reflection is not only economic but also emotional. “The family has forgotten about those of us on this side. We are human beings, who also have families, who have children, who have bills to pay, who spend the day working.” And she concludes: “With Cuba, you never come out ahead. Unfortunately, the family has even lost its humanity.”
Polarized reactions: abuse, necessity, or disconnection?
The video has generated thousands of interactions. Among those who felt identified, there were direct messages of support: “I feel the same way, it’s never enough,” commented one user. “They don’t even appreciate what we send anymore,” wrote another. One of the most discussed comments came from a man who suggested cutting off all aid for three months to see what happens: “0 remittances, 0 food, 0 clothing, except for medicine for a sick family member,” he stated.
A woman stated, "I got rid of that burden, I don't support anyone. They should struggle like we do here." Another widely supported comment said, “You send them 100, and they say that’s nothing for you, as if they know what one earns or what it costs to survive here.”
But there were also responses that invite nuance. One user replied, “It's not that they are ungrateful, it's just that it’s not enough. Go to Cuba and see if you can get by for a month with 150.” Another added, “One thing is the family that wants luxuries, another is the one that really needs help and is struggling.” Some emigrated mothers asserted that they will continue to support their families regardless of the response: “My mom went without food to give it to me; she can ask me for anything she wants.”
Among the comments, there were also those who pointed out that the pressure does not come only from parents or siblings, but from the entire extended family network: “You want to help two and end up supporting ten,” said one woman. Another summarized it this way: “We are to blame for not knowing how to say no.”
A conversation that repeats itself
This type of reflection is not new on social media. Other Cubans in the United States or Europe have shared similar videos where they express feeling emotionally exploited by their relatives on the island. “I became Cuba's slave”, said a resident of Miami. Another, in tears, explained that she works 14 hours a day and is still judged for not sending money every month: “I am not an ATM”.
Even within the island, critical voices have emerged. Azúcar de Cuba herself —who inspired the video by @layami.87— has stated in other content: “Cubans living in Cuba still have the mentality that everyone in the United States has money, that if you kick, 100 dollars come out”. And from Spain, an emigrant sarcastically remarked: “If they know you’re traveling to Cuba, they even ask for mosquito repellent for the one that’s biting you”.
On TikTok, there are many videos of people claiming to have stopped traveling to the island or who hide their arrival dates to avoid the "waiting lists." Others admit that they have cut off support to relatives who spend the money on parties or luxuries, while they abroad can barely afford rent.
An open dilemma
Is this a crisis of values, a consequence of precariousness, or simply a natural disconnect between those living in such different realities? The virality of this type of content suggests that it is not an isolated case, but rather a conversation that remains to be had.
The testimony of @layami.87, although it does not recount a specific personal experience, channels a collective frustration. "I don't know if you will ever find yourself in a situation like this or if you think like I do, but you never come out well with Cuba," she says at the end. Her message, more than a complaint, is a cry of exhaustion that many seem to share, even if not everyone agrees with her approach.
Emotional distrust, not just due to an explosive mix of expectations, sacrifices, demands, and increasingly, it’s not only about money. What is clear is that the relationship between those who have left and those who stayed
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