"They're always at it": Cuban in the U.S. hates experiencing this

A Cuban on TikTok criticizes the usual question about the weather abroad, highlighting the unspoken hierarchies among migrants and the social pressure within the Cuban diaspora.

Cuban in the USAPhoto © @brayan_eljoker / TikTok

A young Cuban has sparked a heated debate on social media after posting a video on TikTok in which he criticizes one of the most common questions among Cubans abroad: “How long have you been here?”

"I wonder why every time I meet a Cuban, they ask me how long I've been here, as if I were in prison, as if I were serving time here," expressed the user @brayan_eljoker in a sarcastic tone on his TikTok account.

The young man continues his reflection with a clear message: “I am free, I have been for a few years now, what’s your problem? I am here to stay, I’m not going anywhere.”

Moreover, it points out that this question often comes with a sense of superiority: "And so if they have more years than me, I have to respect them."

The words of the young man have resonated with thousands of Cubans living outside the island, especially in the United States and Europe, where this phrase has become almost a ritual in the initial encounters among compatriots.

However, the video has also drawn criticism from those who believe it is merely a curiosity or a way to start a conversation.

The publication has reached thousands of views and comments, reflecting a common sentiment among Cuban migrants: the need to question inherited social codes and reevaluate the dynamics of coexistence in exile.

Beyond its humorous tone, the video has served to highlight a recurring issue within the Cuban diaspora: the unspoken hierarchies based on time spent outside the country and the pressure to "prove" integration or success abroad.

Frequently Asked Questions about the Cuban Diaspora and Its Social Dynamics

Why do some Cubans abroad feel uncomfortable with the question "How long have you been here?"

The question "How long have you been here?" generates discomfort because many perceive it as an evaluation of their success and integration in the host country. Additionally, for some, this question implies an unspoken hierarchy based on the time spent outside of Cuba, which can be seen as an attitude of superiority.

What are the common tensions between Cubans who emigrate and their relatives in Cuba?

Common tensions include the perception that issues abroad are less significant than those in Cuba, and the expectation that those who emigrate should provide financial support to those who remain. This can lead to emotional isolation and a lack of mutual understanding, making family and friendship relationships more challenging.

What challenges do Cubans face when trying to adapt to life abroad?

The challenges include nostalgia, the feeling of uprootedness, and the cultural and social differences experienced outside of Cuba. Many Cubans, even after many years, may feel that they never fully adapt due to the absence of family and the cultural context they are accustomed to.

How does economic pressure affect Cubans abroad?

The economic pressure can be overwhelming, as many feel the obligation to send money to their relatives in Cuba while managing their own needs abroad. The misconception of abundance and comfort abroad, combined with the expectations of financial support, can create additional stress and tension.

Filed under:

Yare Grau

Originally from Cuba, but living in Spain. I studied Social Communication at the University of Havana and later graduated in Audiovisual Communication from the University of Valencia. I am currently part of the CiberCuba team as an editor in the Entertainment section.