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Amid the growing pressure from Donald Trump on Havana, and with blackouts, shortages, and the economic crisis pushing the regime to its limits, unconfirmed sources claim that Miguel Díaz-Canel has activated a supposed "UFO protocol" in an attempt to contact extraterrestrial civilizations that could intercede with Washington.
The operation, internally dubbed Galactic Continuity, aims to establish communication with "advanced entities from the universe" to explain the impact of the "criminal and genocidal blockade" on the island and to request political, energy, and technological support in exchange for the latest and classified advancements of the "creative resistance."
According to leaked reports from a research center near Havana, the Cuban leader is allegedly using an old Soviet telegraph system restored by ETECSA technicians and amateur radio operators from Holguín to send messages in Morse code to bright objects recently detected over the Caribbean.
"Extraterrestrial companions: we need fuel, flour, and to convince Trump," would have been one of the first transmissions from the first secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba (PCC). "Let's not hold back for trying," the leader was heard to mumble during difficult times.
"From lost to the river," the troubled secretary added, whispering to his wife like Heraclitus, "Everything flows." To which she, emptying her jewelry boxes and shoe racks into a worm, replied, "Scary king!"
The plan is believed to have accelerated following the release of declassified files from the United States Department of Defense regarding unidentified aerial phenomena. Cuban officials interpreted the disclosure as an “indirect signal” that Washington is already engaging in diplomatic relations with advanced species.
Sources close to the Ministry of Energy assert that several alien scientists had initially shown interest in Cuba, but abandoned discussions after attempting to understand the functioning of the national electrical system.
"We can travel millions of light years and manipulate wormholes, but we don't understand how a thermoelectric plant that gets repaired every week keeps exploding," an interstellar visitor reportedly stated under the condition of anonymity.
Other extraterrestrials, according to the report, were bewildered after receiving an explanation about the coexistence of the Cuban peso, the dollar, the MLC, the empty stores, and the lines to buy chicken.
"We thought it was a satire of dystopian science fiction," commented another supposed galactic delegate.
The situation had reached such a point that a civilization from the Alpha Centauri system discreetly recommended "an orderly transition" before cutting communications with Havana.
Meanwhile, Díaz-Canel would continue to insist on new attempts at contact, convinced that "interplanetary solidarity" could become the last hope to save the Revolution.
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Opinion article: Las declaraciones y opiniones expresadas en este artículo son de exclusiva responsabilidad de su autor y no representan necesariamente el punto de vista de CiberCuba.