Cuban user Aylino Hernández (@aylinohernandez) has sparked an intense debate on TikTok after sharing a personal experience that many migrants prefer not to speak aloud: sometimes, bringing parents to the United States does not turn out to be the happy ending that was imagined.
In her video "Raising Those Who Raised Us," Aylino describes a very common scenario within the Cuban community in the U.S. After years of sacrifice, paperwork, procedures, and hard work, she finally manages to reunite her parents—now over 60 years old—in the country she dreamed of for everyone. The first few days are filled with excitement: outings, shopping, celebrations, the feeling of being whole.
But after the initial euphoria fades, reality sets in. I work from Monday to Friday, manage the kids, pay the bills, and have little time. And while the lives of the children regain their rhythm, the parents begin to feel displaced. They do not master the language, cannot drive, cannot work easily, and lose the independence they had in Cuba. "Mom and Dad discover that there isn't much they can do,” he reflects.
According to him, the most difficult part is not the money, but the purpose. The feeling of uselessness, nostalgia, and the "I don’t like this" start to weigh heavily. Alongside the financial burden comes the emotional one: many children transition from being simply children to becoming caregivers, managers, psychologists, and the total support for their parents.
His final statement was the one that provoked the most reactions: “Don’t feel bad if it crosses your mind to send your mother and father back to Cuba again.” Aylino clarified that he speaks from his experience and that it is not a lack of love, but rather the acceptance that “there are things that money cannot buy” and that not everyone is able to adapt to a new life after a certain age.
The responses to the video reflect how divided the community is. Some agreed that emigrating after 60 can be extremely hard and that many parents should only come for a visit. "It's difficult to adapt to this country at that age," wrote a user. Others pointed out that perhaps the dream was the children's, not the parents'. There were also those who defended the idea that with determination, one can start over at any age and shared stories of mothers in their 70s who found work and purpose.
Beyond the positions taken, the video—getting over 600 comments—brings to light an uncomfortable yet real conversation within the Cuban diaspora: emigrating involves not just changing countries, but also altering family roles. And sometimes, wanting to provide a better life does not mean that everyone feels better living far from home.
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