The popular Cuban comedian Reuel Remedios, in the role of his star character, the corrupt Cuban leader Lindoro Incapaz, released a new sketch in which he reveals the only "diet" that manages to slim down the regime's "cadres": the gasoline diet.
In the video, the official "Decorous" from the "central level" (none other than Reuel dressed in another one of his bureaucratic outfits) bursts into Lindoro's office in alarm because he has detected a grave infraction: the director has lost about two pounds, which violates the unwritten regulations of the Cuban nomenclature.
The punchline of the sketch is devastating. In response to the insistence of the upper figure, who admits that "there are other colleagues who are a bit higher up" interested in knowing the secret, Lindoro concedes: "I'm on the gasoline diet... Do you know what price that fuel has?"
The conclusion is obvious: "You buy 10 liters of gasoline and go two months without eating. I won't say whether you lose weight," Lindoro states.
The joke hits where it hurts the most because it accurately describes the reality of the Island. The price of a liter of gasoline on the black market has reached over 4,000 Cuban pesos in Havana, which can equal the full salary of any worker on the Island and exceed the pension of a retiree. There have even been reports of higher costs, such as 18,000 pesos for three liters, which would represent over 100 dollars for ten liters.
The energy crisis worsened following the simultaneous loss of the country's main suppliers: Venezuela and Mexico, who stopped sending fuel to the Island after the Trump administration captured dictator Nicolás Maduro last January and pressured to cut supplies to the Cuban regime.
Cuba produces only 40% of the fuel it consumes, using a rather heavy domestic crude oil that has a high sulfur content. A Russian shipment of 700,000 barrels of oil that arrived at the end of March and about which there are no transparent public reports on its distribution and use, could barely have covered between seven and ten days of consumption, according to estimates.
While the people stand in line for 24 to 72 hours to obtain fuel, the ruling class maintains its privileges intact. The NGO Food Monitor Program reported in March 2026 the existence of "two Cubas": empty tables for the population and lavish meals for officials during official visits.
The corruption scandals complete the picture. Díaz-Canel's stepson studies at one of the most expensive universities in Europe. The family of former general Ulises Rosales del Toro has access to luxury daycare centers, exclusive residences, and vacations in tourist areas that are off-limits to ordinary Cubans. Former Minister of Economy Alejandro Gil was sentenced to life imprisonment on December 9, 2025, for espionage and corruption. Cuba fell to 40 points out of 100 on the Transparency International Corruption Perception Index in 2026.
Lindoro Incapaz has been satirizing the Cuban bureaucracy for more than a decade, and in three minutes achieves what no official report acknowledges: that the most effective weight-loss diet in Cuba is the one imposed by various forms of misery and need. However, this "weight-loss method" likely only affects mid-level leaders, because those at the Central Level "know how to manage the company's resources." Does this leave you any doubt, comrade?
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