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The shocking capture of Nicolás Maduro by a U.S. Delta Force command has unleashed humor and irony within the Cuban community. Donald Trump, emboldened after his "Operation Maduro," boasts about his tough approach, and his Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, hints that Havana could be Washington's next target. In fact, following Maduro's downfall, the U.S. repositioned amphibious warships off the Cuban coast as a warning to the Island's government. In this climate of tension and satire, many jokingly wonder: which Cuban leader would be "abducted" by Delta Force in a hypothetical future raid? Here, we present the "candidates" with humor and political irony:
Raúl Castro
The 94-year-old retired commander who won’t let go of the reins. Although officially retired, Raúl continues to pull the strings of military and economic power (GAESA) behind the scenes, using Díaz-Canel as a puppet. He would be the ultimate trophy of an operation: to capture the true mastermind in the shadows. Of course, at his age, the Delta Force would have to prepare a comfortable seat for him in the helicopter; but watch out!, the veteran general will surely insist on wearing his olive green uniform for the souvenir photo.
Miguel Díaz-Canel
The quintessential "handpicked" leader. President of Cuba by title, but without real power, he is the comfortable facade of the country's Castroist leadership. If the Delta Force were to take him away, they might be surprised to find he doesn't come with a remote control: all his orders came from Raúl. Popularly nicknamed "the designated one," his capture would be more symbolic than strategic. That said, Díaz-Canel would likely try to convince the commandos that "we are continuity"... even if that continuity ends in a padded cell outside the Island.
Manuel Marrero Cruz
Prime Minister of Cuba and loyal supporter of the regime. Former Minister of Tourism, he is said to be an expert in "selling the image" (although the reality in Cuba is quite different). He could be a candidate for abduction just to complete the government's sticker album. Marrero would surely blame the "blockade" even for his capture, claiming that the Delta Force prevents him from fulfilling the economic plan — as if there’s much of a plan to save. With his trademark mustache and his repertoire of excuses, he might end up offering the soldiers a vacation in Varadero in exchange for his release.
Ramiro Valdés
Historic commander of the Revolution and a key figure in Cuban security. At over 90 years old, Ramiro has witnessed it all: from the Sierra Maestra to the internet blackout. Known for his harsh repression, his resume includes overseeing censorship and providing "advisory" services in Venezuela, so it wouldn't be surprising if he is now under scrutiny. If Delta Force were to "abduct" him, they would be taking a living fossil from the Cold War (perhaps they should exhibit him in a museum!). However, don't underestimate him: the old warrior would likely attempt to give orders to his captors or at least scold them for "indiscipline" on the way to the plane.
Alejandro Castro Espín
Colonel of intelligence and son of Raúl Castro. Nicknamed the "Prince in the Shadows," he has been identified as the mastermind behind the Cuban security apparatus. Nephew of Fidel and the only son of Raúl, he represents the dynastic continuity of Castroism. A command that manages to capture him would gain not only a second-generation Castro but also access to many secrets of the regime. Alejandro, known for his mysterious demeanor (with one eye on Washington and the other on state security), likely already has an escape route worthy of a movie. Would they find him in some underground bunker? It’s possible, but if they capture him, Delta Force would cross a junior Castro off their list.
General Álvaro López Miera
Minister of the Armed Forces and highest active military authority in Cuba. A veteran of wars in Africa and a guardian of the Castro military doctrine, López Miera would be a logical target in any plan to overthrow the regime. He is the man who can mobilize tanks (if there is any fuel left) and troops loyal to the Party. His capture would leave the Cuban army without operational leadership. We imagine the general reviewing maps and recalling the Bay of Pigs, thinking, "this time they're coming by air...". If Delta Force catches him off guard, he might not even have time to say, "Victory or Death!" before finding himself headed toward international justice. It would be the definitive blow to the military structure.
Donald Trump has already warned that he will not tolerate dictatorships in the hemisphere, and figures in Washington are saying that "Cuba is next" in line. Meanwhile, ordinary Cubans, caught between humor and hope, fantasize about seeing these figures unexpectedly packing their bags. Who will be next on the list? At least in satire, the "candidates" have already been presented. Now, all that's left is for the Delta Force "ship" to arrive for the abduction – and many would be delighted to bid them farewell with a hearty bon voyage!
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